1966 England World Cup win “faked”

A startling claim has been made that England’s historic 4-2 World Cup win in 1966 was faked. “It is inconceivable that England as it was then could have beaten a nation as sophisticated as West Germany,” argues chiropodist Morton Nearside. “After all, if its so easy for us to do it back then, why haven’t we ever gone back and won the World Cup again in the years since?”

He argues the victory had to be staged to boost national morale. “We had to do it to maintain our standing,” he says. “Remember: this was the Cold War. It was essential for us to embarrass West Germany, Russia, Sweden or whoever we were up against in that.” He points to alleged video evidence of an unknown “lone Linesman” standing on the grass near the German goal. “Besides, did we even have film cameras in 1966? I’m not sure we did. The whole thing stinks.”

Nearside is sceptical with regard to the claims that the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landings were staged, however. “We do know they occurred in the middle of the night. This makes a lot of sense as we also know the Moon only comes out at night,” he reasons. “But, then I wouldn’t put anything past them. These are very clever bastards we’re talking about.”Soccer - FIFA World Cup England 66 - Final - England v West Germany - Wembley Stadium

Advertisements

Hugh Gaitskell and Harold Wilson: fifty years on

Hugh-Gaitskell-in-1951-001

Sudden deaths in front-line British politics are mercifully quite rare. In 1970, Iain Macleod died suddenly a month after becoming Chancellor of the Exchequer, a desperate blow to Edward Heath’s new Tory Government. In 1994, Opposition leader John Smith died suddenly of a heart attack. Had Smith lived, it seems virtually certain he would have led Labour back into power in 1997, instead of Tony Blair.

Although he had been leading Labour for seven years at the time of his death fifty years ago, (he led the Opposition for longer than any other post-war leader except Neil Kinnock) it is less certain Hugh Gaitskell would ever have enjoyed the trappings of Downing Street even had he survived what turned out to be his final illness. True, Labour did win power again in October 1964. But this was only after Gaitskell’s successor Harold Wilson had immeasurably boosted the party. And even then it was a narrow win. Gaitskell had lost the 1959 election heavily and might well have led the party to defeat again. We will never know.

The youthful, combative Harold Wilson was undoubtedly the right choice for the party at the time, even though his subsequent leadership after the Labour landslide of 1966 would ultimately prove disappointing. George Brown, who came second in the race, was to prove a notoriously erratic figure and later that year appeared drunk on TV (having just provoked a fight with US actor Eli Wallach) on a  programme on which he was being interviewed about President Kennedy’s assassination which had occurred earlier that day. James Callaghan, who came third in the 1963 leadership, would eventually lead Labour and the UK himself between 1976 and 1979.

Alas, Hugh Gaitskell famous for his two conference speeches in which he tearfully pledged to “fight and fight again to save the party we love” and another in which he declared that European integration threatened to end “a thousand years of British history” would never get this opportunity to lead his country.  After years spent fighting the Left and working to keep the party alive, he died just as things were finally falling into place.

Wilson-Harold01