Alternative movie names


What’s in a name? Everything. Imagine how much better these films would be with these names instead of the stupid ones they were given. If you own any of them or if you see any for sale in a shop, feel free to deface the DVD cover by rewriting these names on the front in black marker pen. Have fun!

The Theory Of Everything

Look Who’s Hawking

The Imitation Game

The Lady’s Not For Turing


The Man Who Would Be King

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

1. What Became of the Monkeys?
2. The Apes of Wrath.
3. Caesar Goes Bananas.
4. Hang on! Where’s James Franco gone? Wasn’t he in this? He didn’t die in the first one did he? I can’t remember.
5. Ooh ooh ooh. They want to be like you ooh ooh.
6. Close. But No Banana.
7. Monkey See. Monkey Do.
8. This Time They Didn’t Drink PG Tips.
9. Softly softly. Catchy Monkeys.
10. Go Ape.
11. Definitely Not the Shit Mark Wahlberg One.
12. Guaranteed: Contains one of the finest simian mass cremation scenes of any movie this summer!
13. Bloody hell! Andy Serkis really has got this motion capture stuff sewn up hasn’t he?
14. Serious. Monkey. Business.

Spiderman 2

Spiderman 5

The Queen

Windsor Change 

The Hobbit 3

Back in the Hobbit



Finally, some bad film names which urgently need changing…

Good Will Hunting

A great film, don’t get me wrong. But the title is bollocks. Is it about someone hunting for good will? No. It is about someone who is called Will Hunting. He is “good”. Rubbish!

Grosse Point Blank

Another great film, also, like Good Will Hunting, starring Minnie Driver (In itself an odd name). On paper, this is clever. Hitman Martin Blank returns to his hometown of Grosse Point. Thus Grosse Point Blank! Clever eh? The problem is that if you don;t know the story, it sounds like a parody of the film Point Blank. And this version is “gross”. I’m sure the silly name partly explains why the film flopped.


Lucky Number Slevin

Sometimes called “The Wrong Man”. Unoriginal but better!

“Interesting” movie names

Bring Me The Head Of Alfredo Garcia

Who Is Harry Kellerman And Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?

Hell Comes To Frogtown (Sam Hell is the main character!)

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