Ten people you WILL meet if you go speed dating

Whether you on a serious mission for love or just fancy a bit of a laugh, speed dating can be lots of fun. But don’t be surprised if you bump into one or all of the following…

1. The no-nonsense type

“Do you want to get married? How about children? How many children do you want? Do you want to start a family?”

Er, not this minute, no. Granted you only have three or minutes to get some basic info but sometimes a “hello” or a “how’s your evening so far?” can work wonders. There will be time for them to find out the rest later. Or, in this case, probably not.

2. The total nonsense type

“If you were a colour, what colour would you be?”

The exact opposite of the above, some people seem to think asking the most obscure questions ever will unlock some deeply hidden doorway into your personality while asking silly questions like: “what is your name?” or “what job do you do?” will not. In reality, these types usually end up revealing very little other than that you don’t want to spend any more time in their company.

3. The time traveller

Three minutes is not a long time but like Doctor Who some people are capable of stretching it to apparently infinite lengths. Admittedly, this works both ways. A good speed dater will make three minutes last three seconds. A bad one will leave you feeling like you’ve been trapped in an awkward loveless marriage for thirty nine years.

4. Er…haven’t we “met”?

Yes, it’s surprising how often speed daters bump into someone they’ve met before. In fact, sometimes they’ve done more than just “meet” them before. This can be awkward.

5. The sex seeker

Let’s face it: some people are looking for an enduring permanent relationship. But some people just go speed dating in the hope of easy sex. Perhaps you are the same? Perhaps you both like each other? In which case, perhaps dispense with the box ticking formalities and go for it. But be warned: they may well be at the same speed dating event next month (see point 4).

6. The special interest

A surprising number of people are only capable of discussing one thing and will bore on all night about their specialist subject. This may range from; why the new Doctor Who is great, why astrology is actually not stupid at all to the ups and downs of their most recent relationship. Which turns out to have been in 2006.

7. The friend

Speed dating is a lot more fun if you go along with a friend of the opposite sex. This gives you a welcome respite as you both get a few minutes to catch up on the evening from an alternative perspective. On the other hand, this probably isn’t the best time to reveal your long standing undying love for your friend, should you harbour any such feelings.

8. The interloper

Although they are not really supposed to do it, some people intercept these events as a means to promote some other social event or organisation. Clue: they are sometimes about twenty years older than everyone else.

9. The joker

Some people just don’t take these things seriously. Be wary of anyone who is clearly drunk or otherwise intoxicated (some people have been known to take the “speed” bit of speed dating a bit too literally). Also watch out for anyone who attempts to do the ice bucket challenge during the evening. Or any girls who have chosen to hire a wedding dress for the night just to freak all the men out.

10. The norm

Despite all the above, most people who go speed dating are relatively normal. So, relax and enjoy your evening.