The owl and the pussycat filed for divorce,
Seven years after their voyage abroad.
There was no more singing or dancing anymore.
They were vindictive, embittered and bored.
The owl whinged: “Oh Pussy! This house is a tip!
“It’s knee deep in furballs and lice!
“And I don’t mind money. But what’s with the honey?
“Both cats and owls traditionally eat mice!”
The cat came back: “You’re not the owl I once knew!
“Oh how did I get in this fix?
“You leave the toilet seat up. My mother was right.
“Birds and cats just shouldn’t mix!”
The owl mused: “What about an appearance on Jeremy Kyle?
It’s on “Animal Divorces” next week.”
The pussy laughed: “I would do it if I only I could believe,
“One single word that comes out of your beak!”
She went on: “I was seduced by your charm, your boat,
“And that trick where you rotate your head.
“You know where you can stick your pissy green boat.
“You bastard. I wish you were dead.”
The owl and the pussycat went to court,
The judge favoured Pussy the most,
She took her “honey” for plenty of money,
Then retired to a home on the coast.
(Chris Hallam with apologies to Edward Lear).